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Job Interview

So I have been working at the same place for the last year, but I am on contract and the contract ends in June. So I will have to be looking for a new job at that time. This friday however I have an interview at this job to see if they will choose to hire me or not. If they hire me I go full time and I am set.

The only issue is that I think I have at least 6 people that I am competing with for two slots that are available. This will be a panel interview with two people in the room with me and three on the phone.

I am nervous to say the least. I'd like the get a permanent job here but this was a little bit of a pay cut, but that is fine cause I don't have the stress of my last job.

I am just not looking forward to having to find a new job in june. But I will soldier on and get it done.

Wish me Luck!


Ain Soph


So I was on HRT for 5 years and then I lost my health insurance and I have not been on hormones for the past year. I can still pass but it worries me that my body is reverting back to where it was before.

I don't feel like myself without the hormones. I have low hormone levels as it is so it should not be a big deal but I can definitely tell the difference.

The worst thing I think now is that I am ready for a relationship and no one is going to have a relationship with a pre-op transexual. I am afraid of sugery because they have to put you out. I wish I could get over that. I am going to counseling but I can't shake it. I read an article about a person who had liposuction and died so I am freaked out.

Other than that I am okay. I finished writing today. I have finished up the last of the books in the series and I have left it open to write two more and finish the two others that I half started. 2010 was a prolific year. One of my friends is amazed I wrote as much as I did.

I miss being in a relationship. I am aready but I doubt it is going to happen at all since I am pre-op. I will bide my time and hope but I dont think anything is going to come out of it.
At least I can dream. I have had the best sex I could ever wish for, I don't need to have sex again at this point because nothing will ever live up to that.

So much for dreaming. Later


Ain Soph


One of the things I wanted to do by writing my book was to create strong characters that are successful in their careers and multidimensional.

I also wanted to create some characters that are gay and transgender, both MTF and FTM. The lead character Ameliano Dejarre is gay. In book two he meets the then emperor's son, Gloughster Illian and they become mate pairs, and have a solid and loving relationship for a series of books.

There are two FTM characters in the book, they both work for the psychic government organization called the Psi Faction. One of them Sati Ima is a mobile frame pilot, a decorated pilot and the best mobile frame pilot on the Escalon battleship. Blue another psychic is also FTM and he gets in a mate pair relationship with the head of the terrorist hacker organization called the Packrats. Blue's mate pair Faid is gay. Blue was brought to the Psi Faction as a child and he knew at a young age that he was a boy and the counselors accepted that when he came in and treated him accordingly.

There are also MTF characters in the book. One, named Iin is a trance channeler and is able to see into the future. Her psychic conditioning changed her perception of herself. She is revered by the Packrats and provides spiritual guidance to them.

I wanted to create strong, well adjusted characters that young, gay, lesbian, transgender, questioning teens could look up to.

We see Ameliano loose his mate pair to suicide in book 7. And this sends Lino off the deep end. He recovers but his relationship to Gloughster had been very close.

Another thing that I wanted to say something about is mental illness. The book has psychics and some of them are required to take psi inducer medication after their third level of psychic conditioning. The Wastes use the psi inducer medication called neurocyne to keep their psychic power in check. Rom one of the psychics has an unstable aegis, the manifestation of his psychic power and he takes neurocyne to keep it stable. The statement that I wanted to make is that it is okay to have to take medication on a regular basis.

Sati Ima though he is an excellent pilot has schizoaffective disorder and must take mental exams on a regular basis and medication in order to maintain his license to fly. Sati has a melt down in book four after he has a run in with his father, who has an issue with him being an FTM transexual.

When I was 17 I had a melt down over being transexual and none of the counselors that I went to had any idea what was going on with me at the time. They identified that I have gender identity disorder but I was a minor and that meant follow what the parents wanted and that ended up screwing me up even more because what the counselor tried to turn me into was just not true. It backfired harshly and I initially acted out in that role until I took back control and went back to what I knew felt right to me. I knew that I was the opposite gender since age 5. But at 17 it came to a head. I was able to express myself as my desired sex but I had no term for it. I created a universe in my book that I would have wanted to have had to look to when I was that age. So I could have something to relate to.

Hopefully my books will provide that outlet to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, questioning teens.

Thanks for listening


Ain Soph

What's up

So it has been a while. I have been writing up a storm and trying to setup my facebook and twitter sites for grydscaen:retribution the first volume in the grydscaen sci fi series. 2011 will bring the publication hopefully of grydscaen:origins but I still need to finish the cover art.

Otherwise I have been extended at my contracting job for the last stint of 6 months. So I have a job till june 2011. Then I need to look for a new job since you can only work for 18 months at a time. But I am so glad I am no longer at my previous job - that was torture and I hated it by the end.

All in all 2010 has been a prolific year. I have written 10 books. I am on number 11 now. I enjoy writing. I have only published one so far and am working on the marketing for the first one.

grydscaen:retribution was published in September and I am waiting on a review at this time. So far I have had one rave review and I am looking to publish that review when I get the text.

Thanks for staying friends. Sometimes I get lonely out here in the boondocks. Miss living in the big city but it is cheaper here and well it suits me fine, personally I like it being on the cheap although I can't get pizza at 2am in the morning.

Been off hormones, for a full year which sucks and I can still pass but I can not afford it since I am no longer on the medical plan that I had at my last job. Being transgender is hard but I am making it work. Still have not gone fully dressed at work but I get to be myself at this job and that makes me feel comfortable.


Ain Soph
grydscaen:retribution by natsuya uesugi

my book grydscaen:retribution is now available online in softcover or ebook format at amazon.com and xlibris.com, and a bunch of other places. Just go to the bookstore and type in "grydscaen"

I wanted to give anime fans who are gay and transgender an outlet and not feel a stigma about being out. Even though book one doesn't deal much with being gay or transgender, the lead character Ameliano is gay and there is another character Blue who is transgender.

The story is set in the near future and is about a group of psychic agents who work for the Psi Faction. They are mobile frame pilots and use their psychic powers to fight. In the first book the main group that opposes the Psi Faction is the Packrats, they are a group of renegade terrorist psychic hackers that are trying to take back the Echelons and the Zone from the autocratic control of the Elite Military forces and the Triumverate.

Two of the characters Faid and Riuho escape from the Psi Faction. But Faid must return after he loses control of his psychic power. The lead character Ameliano works for the Psi Faction. His half brother Riuho joins the Packrats after he escapes. The Psi Faction is sent to retrieve Riuho and after a long drawn out psychic battle Ameliano, nicknamed Lino, captures Riuho and they go about trying to reinstate his memory since he had his memory erased to protect the Packrat's secrets.

The Packrats along with the Terror Hack another renegade group go up against the Elite and actually end up killing alot of people in a terrorist attack on the City. In this attack Lino's mother is killed. Lino is dead set on getting revenge on Riuho and the Packrats. Faid defects and rejoins the Packrats and then Lino fights Riuho and goes over his psychic limit and is put on maintenance with psychic inducer drugs. Riuho then goes on a rampage against Lino weilding the Packrats against the Psi Faction as his own personal army and captures Lino and violates him.

We don't actually find out that Lino is gay until book 2 when he meets his mate pair, which is a ceremony between psychics where memories are transferred and a connection is created between the two people. I wanted to create a story that teenagers who are gay and transgender can look to and feel comfortable with. And since the main character is gay and in the military per say i wanted to make that okay. The Psi Faction is basically a military installation. In book 4 we see the characters transferred to a battleship and they fight in their mobile frames against the Atlantea Federation. Faid, the lead Packrat becomes mate paired to Blue in book 3, and as a transgender character we learn that Blue is happy and well adjusted. Another character that is transgender is Iin. She is a trance channeler that can read the timestream and see into the future. She was changes by her psychic conditioning and now sees herself as 100% female and is well adjusted.

I wanted to create a universe where transgender and gay teenagers could be comfortable and throwing in a few mobile frames and some psychic battles didn't hurt.

I am proud of my book and having written 7 of them so far am embarking on the path of getting them all published. Well we can only hope that someone ends up buying them.


Ain Soph


So done proofreading the manuscript, it ended up being 201 pages total. The typist missed some lines and I had to call her and get her to read them from the hard copy manuscript. I am a little concerned that I don't have the hard copy manuscript right now. I hope that she will return it.

My friends have been saying that I am going to get a lot of publicity because I wrote a book but I think they are full of crap. If I sell one book I am going to be happy. Then I have 5 more books that need to be typed and one more, the grydscaen:origins (Book 7) that is already typed and will be the next one submitted.

I am working on Book 8 now and I have written an outline. I find it more difficult to follow an outline than to just free write because you have to intersect the storyline. In this 8th book, there are two enemys. The Packrats are going to go through a huge trial. Also Blue has some growing to do so I have to figure out what I am going to do with him. Blue went a little crazy at the end of Book 6


Ain Soph

Manuscript Almost Ready

So i had a meeting with the publisher and they are going to colour the black and white art work for the cover. It is a picture of the one of the main characters named Blue. I am on page 93 of proofreading the 205 page manuscript. I am psyched I am going to be a published author.

The typist finished on wednesday and sent the manuscript and I have been proofreading a little bit each day. It is fun reading the story again because I have not read it in a long time since I am on Book 8 now, and book 1 is so long ago.

I finished book 7 early this week and that one fortunately is already typed so I will not need to typist to address that one.

A published author, wow. Now I just hope that someone will actually buy the book.

I am also trying to map out the first chapter to determine if I am going to try to do a graphic novel of grydscaen, I need to practice drawing so that I can draw the characters the same way in each scene. That is the problem I am having right now. I have mapped out a few of the pages and done some rough sketches but I need to ensure that the characters always look the same and that is what is concerning. I am out of practice. I really want to create grydscaen as a manga but that is going to take some serious doing.
Ain Soph

Manuscript Progress

So the typist is on page 140 of the 187 page manuscript. It is interesting to hear what the t.ypist thinks about the story, she is pretty accurate in picking up what was the main plot but I guess you read the story as you are typing. I could not have typed it, I tried and only got two page 15. I am grateful to Carrie for typing the manuscript for me. She said that she is going to type all 6 of the books.

I think that she will be done by the middle of next week then I can start proofreading and add the chapters into it.


Ain Soph


So I bought a netbook today because my MAC has such an old OS that it can't deal with facebook and myspace. I had to deal with the modem and get that all setup but I finally figured out how to upload a photo to facebook since it wouldn't work on my other computer and now I can setup my page for gridscan. I still don't totally get the point of facebook but I am trying to learn it.

I submitted the author bio, book summary and black and white cover art for the book. The publisher says that they can colour the cover art for me so I don't have to worry about doing that. The typist is on page 112 of 187 so we are chugging along.

I kind of like this netbook thing. It doesn't even have a CD-ROM drive in it, it is like a baby computer. But I guess that is what netbooks do, they do internet and that is all.

Work is going fine. I have this big project that I have to meet with the system architects on monday to make sure we are doing the go forward direction for the code. This job is so much easier than my last job and the people are alot nicer.

Enough of this now. Back to facebook. I can't wait for the typist to get to the end so that I can start my process, proof read and then get the book to the publisher. Cheers


Ain Soph

Saturday and Everything is All Right

So my typist is on page 50 of the book, she just needs to get to 187. It should take her 14 more days or so she averages 10 pages a day. Work is going fine but I have a new project that is a nightmare and I don't know what I am doing since each project is like starting over from scratch, so annoying.

My publisher is asking for cover art and I have to send them something. I have a drawing but it is not coloured I need to try and spend some time doing that but I only have the weekend.

I reached page 999 in my writings in Book 7 now. Doing the backstory of all the characters now so that is fun I like writing this book because I don't need to connect anything it is just short stories and vignettes. I have to get back into Book 8 and continue the story where I left off so I am going to have to go back and read all of Book 6 to figure out where I left off.

I want a date. I am lonely but I don't feel so hot about myself right now because my hair is all jacked up because it is humid. I don't even know where to start looking for a significant other. The last time I looked on the net I met someone I stayed with for over 3 years but they turned psycho and I can't have that affecting me again, because I went totally loopy and had to be taken away to the padded room for 30 days it was so bad the mental abuse that was.

I don't know where to look. I am just hopeless. Later


Ain Soph